June 18, 2015

Liam, tonight I’m sad! I put you to sleep, and usually I have so many things to do that I start getting fidgety and put you in your crib. Tonight, I couldn’t bear to. All of a sudden I am overwhelmed (and slightly angry to be honest) at how fast the time has gone! When you turned one, it was a completely joyous occasion. I kept waiting to feel the split emotions that I always hear about mom’s having at this milestone. I was having way too much fun with this new stage, and you sleeping through the night (haha) that I didn’t feel one ounce of it. But oh boy am I feeling it now! Tonight I held you, and watching your beautiful face for probably 45 minutes- until you started getting fidgety and wanted to stretch out.

Where in the world has the time gone?! I wish I could live this year over and over again. You have been the biggest joy in my life. I’ve never laughed so much- ever! I can’t stay angry with you for more than 3 minutes. You are my happy, observant, fun-loving, ever curious, forgiving, independent boy. Oh, and “practically perfect in every way”, as Mary Poppins would say.

Perhaps what brought on these split emotions is that you started walking yesterday. Once you’re walking you are basically a toddler! And perhaps this is TMI, but my period came back and my milk is depleting so fast! We are getting to the end of an era, you and I. And I am not liking that thought one bit!

I’m mad that I’ve already forgotten so much. There have been so many moments that I wanted to will them into perfect memory, but I already feel like they are slipping away! I guess that’s what journals and pictures are for, but it’s not the same. I can’t wait to be up in heaven and watch those moments all over again- I think about that all the time!

Thank you for making me a mama! And teaching me everyday to slow down a bit, and remember what is important. Also to forgive. It seems like I’ve been a mom for so long, yet I can’t believe just a year ago you were just a perfect slug in a swaddle blanket;)

As for updates, you are eating very well. You are definitely a social eater- so the best thing I can do to get you interested is to eat some myself and not offer you any. You want to be the one to decide, and usually you want to eat whatever I am eating. You eat curry, salad, etc.. But of course your favorite is anything with sugar in it, duh. So we have to be more careful about not giving it to you as often, because sometimes you can get picky.

You didn’t show any interest in walking until a few days ago. And then suddenly you want to practice a lot! And you laugh your head off while doing it- like you are cracking yourself up. Every little milestone (rolling, crawling, eating solids) has come up like that, you just decide it’s time and then you’ll do it. Coercion or persuasion simply don’t work, it is all about your timing and desire.

You sleep pretty good, but better when you have that “Calm” calcium drink. You also like drinking from straws. You are really great with other people! Luckily that is never something I’ve had to worry about.

You still take 2 naps, but sometimes 1. I like the two nap thing so I’m holding onto it as long as possible! You also sing “da-da-da-DIAper time” super good now.

You love hanging out with Charles and Henry, we need to get together with them more often! Also, you have turned into a daddy’s boy, EXCUUUUSE ME?! But it is super cute. Overall you prefer hanging out with the guys over girls. We will be at a party, and you always seem to wander over to the group of men. You especially love chilling with Hudeanne’s husband Railson.

You love: playing with trains, putting lids back on, “organizing” my pantry (also known as throwing everything out of it), walking around with my hand to support you (or basically dragging me around wherever you want to go- last Sunday when you had it with sacrament meeting, we walked up and down the wheelchair ramp for a good 15 minutes), throwing balls around, reading books (I’m kind of amazed at how long you’ll sit there while I read), anything sweet. It fascinates me how fast you know something has sugar in it- I will be across the room and you will start frantically flapping your arms and yelling to eat some!

You hate: when I try to force you to do anything (eat, drink, walk), when I give you too many kisses, when I pretend to cry (I usually do this after you start smacking me in the face- not my favorite), when dad leaves for work.

Funny things you do: Last Sunday, in the middle of a talk, was pull out the hymn book and start singing who-knows-what. Reallly loud. I loved it. You also like to “walk” around on your knees. Crawling is becoming less common- you’re slowly getting more vertical! Everyone always says they’ve never seen a baby go around like that. You also pretend you’re on the phone all the time- with any object nearby. You’ll grab the AC remote or even a pen, hold it up to your ear, and gabber away. Also, you definitely think that the white walls are your paper. This is also not my favorite.

Also I love that you are so ticklist! Under the armpits, your chunky thighs, under your chin and neck, and when I change your diaper. Silly boo!